When the poetry stops writing itself:
Your thoughts become thunderstorms over your sound mind and body, raining on your parade before anyone else gets the chance to.
The human brain can process an image that the eye sees for as little as 13 milliseconds.
The human brain can process a thought at rates of almost 270 miles per hour.
So you can understand my confusion as to why it took me over a week
to try and process the thought
of him not being able
to love me anymore.
A human brain affected by anxiety processes thoughts at speeds almost twice as fast as one that is not,
which is also known as
the fight or flight response.
your body is flooded with chemicals which are
supposed to help enhance
your ability to sense
threat and dangerous situations;
More blood pumps to your muscles,
but you still can’t walk away.
More air in your lungs,
but he still steals your breath.
Your heart rate increases and suddenly your body just,
But your thoughts keep going,
and your subconscious
starts to narrate them
like an old black and white movie
you can’t turn off.
Maybe you were too clingy.
Maybe you were too distant.
Maybe you tried too hard to make him happy, and now he’s miserable at the mere thought of being around you.
Maybe, it was never what you thought it was.
During an anxiety attack,
the human brain often sends signals
throughout the body
mimicking those of a heart attack:
shortness of breath,
While the heart is not actually under attack,
it will feel like it.
*it starts to race*
Remember every morning
waking up in his arms
*It will tighten*
Remember the first time he said I love you
*it gets tighter*
When he said we need to talk
*i can’t do this*
When he said I’m sorry,
my heart took every plea
off of my tongue
and I swallowed my truth
for the chance
to not lose him completely.
The human heart beats at an average pace of 60 to 100 beats per minute.
If the body experiences an emotional trauma, the heart can essentially go into a state of shock, also known as “broken heart syndrome”.
When I was younger
I was always told that
no heart was so broken that a pint of Ben and Jerry’s couldn’t fix it,
I’m laying in my bed in a panic because I can’t breathe and everyone thinks I’m over reacting
because it’s just a breakup and
I will be fine
but my heart,
actually is broken
and no amount of chunky monkey
is going to fill the cracks
where his love
the love I never thought I’d lose,
Every thirteen milliseconds,
an image of what we used to be,
runs through my mind.
My brain can’t process a single thought that doesn’t have
something to do with his smile.
still skips a beat every time
I hear his name.
I never knew what heartbreak was until I had to lose the only person,
that has ever made the word ‘home’
feel like a reality.
I always found the nights
after a breakup
to be the hardest.
Not the spontaneous tears
or falling asleep alone,
but rather the thinking
that comes along
with the silence.
Time may heal;
but there is no peace in the quiet.
When your mind is in tune to chaos,
stability can be a rhythm that’s hard to understand.
When he said it,
it tasted like the first shot of alcohol
on my 21st Birthday: stronger than I could handle
and nothing helped wash it down.
To this day,
the whiskey still goes down better
than hearing someone say
‘I love you.’
I don't believe in what lies beneath church walls,
yet I find immense amounts of beauty
in the structure itself.
How ironic that the same is said about me.
She will make your heart ache.
She will have you questioning
everything you ever thought about yourself,
and keep you from a sound sleep for days.
But as you watch her drive away,
pride in hand,
you will sigh and think,
“Why did I let her slip away?”